I know I’m not alone in searching for ways to get through this. I’ve been doing my best to be positive, and yet, as I scroll through social media, too much positive can be downright annoying, because it’s not real. Sometimes I have a “we got this” “it’s gonna be alright” attitude, and sometimes I just don’t. I chuckle through the “post a color”, “post a landscape”, “post a letter that describes me” stuff and sometimes I participate, and then by day 3 I’m like “ENOUGH”! But hey, whatever works for you, do it! If it doesn’t work for me…I just keep scrolling.
Today, I feel good because 1) it’s Friday (but really, I guess all days are pretty darn similar) 2) it’s sunny and it looks like a warm weekend in Ohio and I plan to get outside and do more than just walk the dog, and 3) right now, at this moment, I am healthy.
I think about how one minute we can be healthy and the next we might not be. That what if that last trip to the grocery store was one trip too many and exposed me to someone and 12 days later…
On days when thoughts like this hit me, I get really scared. I see news stories of people of all ages, ’30s, ’40s, and ’50s in hospitals, separated from their families, many dying alone. I read a story recently about someone who just stopped watching the news. Just stopped. And how much better their lives were for doing so. I don’t want to bury my head in the sand but I think I’m going to try it. No news…for a few days, just t see if it helps.
Yesterday, I spent time on the phone with someone with young kids, and it hit me that each of us, depending on where we are in our lives, is struggling through this in different ways. As an empty-nester working from home, my experience is different than a working parent with kids at home. Parents with young kids are struggling! She said she keeps hearing of people who are doing crafts, home projects, learning a skill or working out, while she is trying to keep her head above water. “No I’m not knitting or working on a puzzle”, she whimpered. (Meanwhile, I AM working on a puzzle, which I clearly could not admit) These parents are working at home trying to keep their jobs, while home-schooling their kids, who, we are really appreciating, need the routine of school. Most “normal” siblings are fighting, whining, bored, not eating the dinner you have just cooked, spending too much time on screens but as a parent, you need a break so you let them. As a mom so far away–one of the reasons I became self-employed was to be able to be around for my kids and grandkids, and it is killing me I can’t help right now because we are so far from each other. I have a partner, so I am not sheltering in place alone.
My go-to for coping with anything–joys or sorrows, has always been music. I wish I could play an instrument. Practically every member of my family is musical but I’ve just played it (and programmed) it on the radio. I can HEAR a hit, I just can’t write, play or sing one! But what I can do, is share some of my faves on social media. Support local musicians doing living room concerts. Post lyrics from songs that get me through the hard stuff. Songs that remind me of a certain time in my life. And songs that will become a soundtrack for THIS time in my life.
Here is today’s song. Roll Me Away, by Bob Seger. It was featured in the movie Mask. This for me is a roll down the windows and drive (or ride) song. I just love the lyrics. I wish I had the nerve to do what this person does in this song.
Starin’ out at the Great Divide
I could go east, I could go west
It was all up to me to decide
Just then I saw a young hawk flyin’
And my soul began to rise
And pretty soon
My heart was singin’
I’m gonna roll me away tonight
Gotta keep rollin’, gotta keep ridin’
Keep searchin’ till I find what’s right
And as the sunset faded I spoke
To the faintest first starlight
And I said next time
We’ll get it right
Hang in there my friends.